I’m not in Love With you I’m in Love With Your Potential
**Photo is by my super talented girl Caitlin–DMV friends check out here work here http://www.caitlinmariephoto.com/_
By nature, I am someone who is extremely quick to forgive, is very open minded, and when I look at people their past never matters to me-it is as if they are exploding with potential. I feel at times this can often be my biggest gift because I can see in others what they are too critical to see in themselves and I can get along with people who are much different than I am. When I was doing missionary work for my church, I was able to use this gift every single day in the best possible way. My sole purpose for that time was to be this personal cheerleader that rallied around people who had addictions, depression, or who just got so bogged down by the wear and tear of the daily grind that they somehow lost themselves in the mundane and became focused on surviving instead of thriving. Or perhaps they found themselves growing tired, cynical, and deeply hurt by the unfairness that finds its way to even the most beautiful souls in this mortal journey. I love to love those people and show them who they can become because I believe that is what Christ wants us to do for each other-to swallow our pride and our differences and to stop competing with each other and just lift one another up.
While this at time can be my greatest gift, this can also be my biggest weakness when it comes to relationships and I wanted to write about it with full transparency because I know so many girls also struggle with this. Our hearts were made to love and they were made for companionship, but oftentimes we fall into the trap of thinking we love someone when we really love who they can become. It’s a hard dream to wake up from when you realize that while you see their potential and just how great they can be, you are also painfully aware that this belief often times is not enough to get them to rise to the occasion.
Again, this can be a very good thing because at times I have felt my life be transformed by the people God put in my life that believed in me when I didn’t believe in myself.
But at other times, I have given my heart to people or seen some of the people I love the most give their hearts to people that at this present time either cannot love them back, are living far below their potential, or are good people that are content being good or good enough when they were made for something great. There will no doubt be someone reading this who will have a story about a guy and a girl that met and then the guy (or girl) changed for the other person and they lived happily ever after and I DO know couples like this. But the danger lies in thinking these types of situations are the rule, not the exception and I hate seeing the people I love giving their time, love, and energy to someone who takes them for granted.
This is the part part of this post where the critics will say that perhaps girls like myself want perfection and that does not exist. And how right they are about the latter! So while I urge you to throw out your list of traits that the guy you want must have if it says things like “Must be 6’4″, must have blue eyes, must make X amount of money, etc” I urge you to make an uncompromising list in return that may say things like “Must be kind, must love God, must be committed to investing in us, and must treat me and my family with respect” etc. Whatever your uncompromising list is-make it and have the self respect to stick to it even if that means waiting it out solo.
Knowing you are a high value person and holding yourself as such will attract like-minded people into your life and nothing is more beautiful than a relationship consisting of two people that are both moving up the same mountain and going in the same direction-hand in hand. I believe there must be give and take in a relationship and there will often be times where one person will push and one will pull and that is the beauty of being a team, but it is not your job to drag someone else up that mountain and I see this happening way too much.
I was recently talking with a friend of mine and he said the best advice he has ever been given was that the devil will often give you something good so that he can stop you from having something great. How true is that!? This message doesn’t only apply to your love life but can also be in the form of a job or a lifestyle change or anything you are giving power to that doesn’t serve you. So know what you deserve and have the confidence in yourself and the faith in God to know that you weren’t meant for mediocrity.
Continue to see the best in people, but have the courage to walk away from someone who doesn’t want to take action and be better because they know you and first and foremost because they know God.
P.S. my bff just started hew own business customizing cute signs like this one. This quote from Winnie the Pooh has always been one of my favorites and so she customized this sign for me and I was so ecstatic when it came in the mail and thought it tied in perfectly with today’s message! Be sure to check out her work on Instagram @ourfrecklepatch